General Drabbles
by GillianDrake
Summary: This is the general drabbles of things that the characters get up to along with my made up characters from Count Dracula's Sweetheart. By the way, if anyone sees any similarities between these stories and theirs, apologies and thanks for the ideas :
1. MeTube, vengeance and the fete

"Oh! Mr Count, there you are!" cried Mrs Brannaugh gleefully- she loved planning the school summer fete and she was particularly glad that the charming yet oddly gloomy Mr Count was taking part this year-Graham didn't approve, of course but he was a stuffy old shirt sometimes; Mr Count needed to get out and have some fun.

She chewed on the end of her pen as she looked down her list… "Coconut shy-full. Plate-smashing…"

"Dad! That sounds like something that you could do." Vlad said with a stifled smirk.

The Count's lip twisted in a silent snarl; The Grand High Vampire was enjoying this altogether far too much after threatening him-his beloved father! With death by dawn.

"Er, no, I'm sorry, Vlad but that's full…Bouncy castle-full…Oh! Mr Count-well, I don't' know whether it's your sort of thing but there's the kiss-o-gram. I'm afraid everyone else seems to have opted out of it, you see."

The Count shuddered, thinking of all the really ugly peasant women that could pay to kiss him-and he wouldn't even see a penny of the money made…he muttered resignedly "I'll take it."

"That's the spirit, Mr Count!" Mrs Brannaugh beamed approvingly as she handed him the posters and the price list.

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll take _lots_ of pictures." Vlad hissed nastily-the Count positively _knew_ that he shouldn't have shoved Renfield into Vlad's room whilst he and Emily were 'en flagrante'.

"I told you I'd get you back." Vlad smirked as Mrs Brannaugh shuffled out of the marquee. "I think that I preferred you when you were nice." The Count muttered in response, remembering when his little boy had liked bright colours, little kittens and…Mr Cuddles.

*****

"Hi, Robin." Vlad said in genial greeting as the ruthless sun beat into the back of his head. "Gutten Tag." Robin called confidently.

"It's pronounced 'gooten tahg', Robin." Vlad sighed before enquiring of his friend, "you got it?"

"You didn't actually think that I'd forget it, did you?" Robin asked with a mischievous grin.

"Forget what?" A new voice chimed in. Vlad coughed before turning to his petite, pixie faced, unofficial fiancée with a carefully bland expression on his face. "Nothing, Emmy." He said, guilt splashing into his tone, before taking her by the arm and leading her to the candy floss stall. He gulped involuntarily; the stick, sweet smell was _not_ to be savoured by any sane vampire, but it was far better than being interrogated by his wife-to-be.

*****

"Two pounds for five minutes." The Count said tonelessly as yet another shadow fell over him-he wasn't particularly looking forward to explaining his swollen lips to Tabitha when-not 'if'-_when_ she found out.

"So, I find a spell that'll stop you burning in the sun for a day and you spend that time kissing other people-not me-_other people._" The Count cringed and looked up into Tabitha's unclassically beautiful face with her wildly sensuous lips…

Hands on hips, she regarded him with a teasing expression that he couldn't' fathom. "It wasn't my fault-" he began.

"I can tell, judging by the irritated look on your face-Vlad put you up to this?"

The Count nodded as Tabby laughed quietly and glanced at the gathering queue behind her; Miss Harker; the head-teacher for one.

"So, it's two pounds for five minutes. We've got four hours…twenty-four pounds an hour…" she dug her hands into her pockets and 'suddenly' found a hundred-and-fifty pounds. "How much does this get me?" she asked with a saucy grin.

"As much as you like." He replied huskily with a buccaneer's grin. He glanced around quickly to where Renfield was shambling about. "Renfield! Come here!"

Renfield-the family's dirty man-servant and general dogs-body-went over and asked the Count. "I thought master Vlad said you was to do a stall for the whole day?" The Count merely smirked and said "I'm booked up for the next four hours or so. So you're going to have to take my place."

As the Count took Tabby's hand and led her away to the hearse, Redfield sat down on the foldy chair and looked up into the disgusted face of Miss Harker…

*****

"Where it he?" Vlad demanded in a strained whisper, pointing at Renfield. Robin shrugged his shoulders and looked around, video camera in hand.

"Vlad, I really think that you should tell your father that someone is in your car, there's an awful lot of giggling going on in there-probably some silly kids playing around." Vlad turned to see the stark silhouette of Mr Brannaugh in his scout shorts-that really, no self respecting man should ever be caught wearing. "Yeah, I'll tell him when I find him. "Vlad murmured with a wicked smile.

Ten minutes later, the video camera was pressed up to the tinted windows of the hearse. "MeTube, here we come!" Vlad snickered.

"Actually, Vlad it's YouTube-"

"Whatever, Robin." Vlad laughed, "You can help me set MeTube up when we get home."

"Yeah, Vlad-this is X-rated content-sort of…What's your Dad gonna do when he finds out-"

"Countie." Tabitha's muffled voice said curiously. "I wouldn't unhook that when there's a video camera pressed up to the window."

The video camera suddenly flew sparks as the Count cursed furiously. Robin screamed-"My Dad's gonna kill me!" He flung the camera away from himself.

"Woops!" Vlad sighed and clamped his hand over Robin's mouth. He flitted away to the other side of the sunny fete.

Glancing around, Vlad allowed himself a hysterical bout of laughter. "I think we're safe."

"I wouldn't be quite so sure of that if I were you." The Count snarled malevolently from behind the mischievous pair. They turned. From the Count's pale hand, hung the remains of the camera and his eyes were redder than either of them had ever seen before.

Robin stared in terrified shock as the other boy began to laugh hysterically-pointing at the Count; his feet were shoeless, his red silk shirt was untucked, rumpled and held closed by two buttons that were carelessly jammed into the wrong holes and his hair was so dishevelled that it looked like it had been done by Russell Brand's stylist.

"Get dressed in a hurry, did we?" Vlad choked out between spasms of irrepressible laughter.


	2. Ryan

"Vladimir!" A voice screeched. Vlad gritted his teeth; how many times in the relatively short time since the Draculas had moved to Stokely, had his name been screamed up the stairwell? Usually, it was either Ingrid or the Count with _some_ sort of "disaster" that he'd apparently been the cause of, but this time, it was Emily-his unofficial wife-to-be. He would recognise the voice anywhere...

The small, pixie-faced girl barged into Vlad's tower room and slammed open the lid of his state-of-the-art coffin. She was furious. He was livid. "You know, Emmy, I drained the last person who barged in here and disturbed me-" he said coldly. His fangs were bared with a threat that would have been chilling if Emily didn't know him so well. "That's rubbish-I saw Ingrid just a minute ago."

That was true, Vlad silently conceded, but it didn't stop him from being so thoroughly fucked off with Emily. In fact, that she saw through his threat riled him even more. She was so fucking perfect that everyone seemed to salivate over her...

That's what this was about. She'd kissed a boy on the cheek at school and held his hand. This boy wasn't Vlad-oh no! This boy was the shy, retiring type who positively _lived_ in the library. He was lanky, sallow and had glasses almost a foot thick!

If Vlad seemed malicious at this point, it was because he was feeling malicious. It was primal, like breathing-or in his case, _not _breathing. He couldn't stand the idea that Emily thought him inadequate. He'd already gone through years of inadequacy before his transformation and he'd refused to feel it since.

"Get out, Emily." Vlad growled, before snapping his fingers and bringing the lid down on his coffin. He _didn't _want to discuss this. Unfortunately for him, Emily had other ideas. Eyes flashing green fire, she re-slammed open the lid of Vlad's polished mahogany coffin and stood with hands on hips. "Don't you dare act the victim when _you _called _me _a 'slut'. What on Earth was _that _all about?"

"'What was _that _all about?' I'll tell you what _that _was all about: it was about you snogging a boy who _wasn't _me." Vlad's eyes glowed ruby and his skin was more pale than usual-pale with rage. His elegant, long-fingered hand gripped the edge of his coffin as he sat up to glower at his teenage lover.

"You're jealous!" she exclaimed. She didn't deny it. She had kissed the boy-but it was only on the cheek, so it certainly didn't constitute 'snogging' by any means. Ryan was just a friend, anyway.

"No, I'm not jealous." Vlad lied. Of course he was, was she blind? Sullenly, he folded his arms to keep from grabbing her and hurting her. To keep from kissing her and holding her. "Well then, why are you behaving like this? You're jealous when there's no need for you to be."

"I told you, I'm not jealous!"

"Whatever you say. But there's still no need for you to be. Ryan-"

"Is 'Ryan' that four-eyed gimp's name?" Vlad demanded belligerently.

"Vlad!"

"Is it?"

"Yes. Ryan is his name. Ryan wanted to compare notes for our physics lesson. Ryan happens to be gay." Emily spat before stalking out of the door in disgust. Vlad gritted his teeth as his bedroom door swung shut with a crash, sending sound-waves echoing around the tower room so that his head pounded from his ultra-sensitive hearing.

Vlad was floored. So Emily hadn't been looking for love elsewhere; Emily Griffiths had simply been being Emily Griffiths: sweet, compassionate and entirely too trusting. Vlad groaned as he realised that he had an apology to make to her. He _hated_ apologising almost as much as his sire did, though he had a feeling that Emily wasn't about to forgive him for calling her a slut without one. She was almost as stubborn as Tabitha.

Hell! If the Count and Tabitha were so well matched, then so were Vlad and Emily. He'd apologise, she'd forgive him, and then this whole debacle would be forgotten.

Not so, as he discovered that evening when he visited the Old Mansion on St Tabitha's lane. Tabitha met him at the front door with a grim scowl. "You're not coming in." She told him.

Vlad sighed, "I want to talk to Emily."

"Well, she doesn't want to talk to you." Tabby's arms were folded as she told him without words that he was definitely in her bad books for hurting her Witchkin's feelings. "Tabby," he pleaded, "I'll give you anything you want if you'll let me in."

"I wouldn't bother." The Count muttered irritably from behind his son. "I've already tried that."

"Dad, the difference is that _I _know that she doesn't especially want to have to choose between spit and swallow." Vlad retorted before his brow furrowed in bemusement; "Why have you had to try bribing her?"

"She won't let me in." The Count rolled his eyes as if that were the most obvious answer in the world.

"I took a leaf out of Lysistrata's book," Tabby explained, brown eyes flashing with superiority and mischief, "until you prove yourselves, you won't be getting any sex."

"I don't get any sex anyway!" The Count pouted childishly.

"Fine. In your case there'll be no smooches." Tabby told him calmly.

"Who's Lysistrata?" Vlad asked, do his damndest to restrain his ire. It was his father who answered, his voice fuelled with disgust "'Lysistrata' is a Greek comedy where a woman named Lysistrata leads all the women of Athens in a sex strike to manipulate their menfolk into ceasing war and letting them take over the government." He added contemptuously for Tabitha's benefit: "A laughable concept."

"Oh dear," Tabby sighed theatrically, "I suppose that means that I should get this meeting over with and say goodbye. I'll tell Emily that you called." She made to shut the front door.

"No wait!" Vlad cried, "What do we have to do?"

Tabby smiled evilly.

...

"I cannot believe that we agreed to do this." Vlad hissed to himself.

"I didn't have a great deal of choice in the matter, if you recall." The Count grumbled.

"Shhh!" Tabby and Emily hissed at the disgruntled pair.

They were all sat on the emerald-carpeted floor watching Twilight, waiting with baited breath (at least, the Witches were) for Edward and Bella to kiss. "Awww!" The girls exclaimed, while Vlad and the Count rolled their eyes. "When do I get a kiss?" the Count demanded, watching Tabby positively _melt_ with vicarious delight at the love scene unfolding on the widescreen TV. Why did her delight have to be vicarious when he would give to her quite happily.

"And me." Vlad added, "Am I forgiven, yet?" he asked Emily who, despite being still miffed with him, had been sneaking peeks at his lips and eyes for the past half an hour. He truly was the most gorgeous being that ever had existed.

"Not quite." The girls giggled in unison. Just then, both Draculas lost their tempers-and control of their powers. Sparks showered from the TV and the screen shattered in an explosion that shook the floor.

As Tabitha stared at the carcass of what had been their television, Emily glared at the offenders who immediately pointed fingers at each other. She sighed at their childishness and then made the mistake of muttering: "Ryan would have been able to take the joke."


	3. The windupTheCount song

**I realise that this isn't a proper story-thing, but I thought it up this morning and thought you'd all appreciate it. It made me giggle ;)**

Draculoser's got no fangs-do-da-do-da

Draculoser's got no fangs-dum-de-do-da-day

He puts fake ones in at night

And takes them out at dawn

'Cause Draculoser's got no fangs-dum-de-do-da-day!


End file.
